Sleep problems

It is right now 6:26 AM on Monday morning and I can't fall asleep. For those of you who don't know me very well, or do but simply haven't been privy to this part of my life, I suffer from mild to severe sleep paralysis and right now I am having a pretty severe case of it and am terrified to even lay my head down on my pillow. The reason for this blog entry is simply for me to have something to do for the next fifteen minutes or so so it can run its course and I can fall asleep without apprehension or further interruption. Usually a cup of water and a few paces around my bedroom are sufficient enough, but not tonight. For those of you who are unfamiliar with sleep paralysis, you can wikipedia it yourself because I am too fucking tired to link it here. Here's the quick and dirty of it:

It's a state where your mind and body do not fall asleep at the same time, usually, it's the body that is in shut down mode while your mind is still racing. This creates a hallucinatory state where your mind is awake, but you have no control over your body. Sounds kinda weird and dumb, but this is also accompanied by a terror-like feeling; basically multiply the most scared you have ever been in your entire life by a million, combine that with hallucinating the most fucked up things you'll ever see and no control over your body's movements, and that's it in a nutshell.

I've been awake on and off since 5:13 this morning when I first woke up from it. They never last this long with me which is why I'm taking the extreme measure of blogging just to keep my mind off of it. I've seen my Dad sitting in my room with me, I've heard music from a band that doesn't exist right outside my window, I've flirted with three girls who turned into stone in front of me.....this is the type of shit I get to experience on a weekly basis. What I just described was no exaggeration, it's what I fucking saw in front of me. Sleep paralysis has been described as a "waking dream." My dctor tells me it is hereditary and all my family members go through it, especially my dad. Well, now it's 6:41 and I'm gonna try to go back to sleep. If I hallucinate one more time, I'm gonna have to stay up for good and that just ruins my day.



Tags: SLEEP