Saturday, September 09, 2006

Rules

I'm in a bad mood. Partly because Notre Dame beat us today but mostly because of douchebags calling to harass me about it. The problem is that some people don't follow the rules of harassment, especially the rules of who is and is not allowed to harass me.

The case tonight was my brother decided to have his current girlfriend call me of which I haven't met yet. It would have been fine if he called me because he's family but I don't know her. I didn't even recognize the number and then she thought it was funny that I couldn't figure out who she was. Fuck you dumb bitch, stop annoying me. You go to Iona. Do they even have a football team?

So what are these rules? Here's the list of who's allowed to harass me.
  • My family --- family is always allowed
  • People who attend my school
  • People who attend the opponent's school
  • Alumni of both schools
  • Very close friends
That's it. No more. Here's a list of people not allowed to harass me.
  • People who don't go to college
  • People who are fans of the opponent but don't attend there
  • People I don't know or those I barely know
  • and everyone else I've neglected to discuss
Another case of why I'm writing this was last year when Michigan beat us on the last play of the game, a friend of my brother called me to harass me. He's one of those loser bandwagon "I love Michigan" fans. Such a disgrace. Such a loser. It took a lot of will power to not drive home and beat his ass.

Failure to respect and obey these rules is justification for me kicking your ass and/or never speaking to you again. And no, its not just a game. We Penn Staters live and breath college football and its not our fault that you can't understand it. And you never will. Its impossible to understand what college football means to us and its impossible for me to explain it to you. Mostly because you go to no name colleges without football teams. But you don't see me calling you every weekend harassing you about how much your school sucks. Why? Because no ones heard of it douchebag. Shut up, hang up the phone, and put the cock back in your mouth.

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