An Exclusive Glimpse Inside the Minds of The Two Headed Monster that Coaches Penn State's Offense:

Play: opponents 48, 3rd and 7

Galen: Hmm 3rd and 7, 3rd and 7... what to do, what to do?
Jay: Well we could try.... nah you said 7 right GH?
Galen: Why yes I do believe it's third and seven, thats a seven.
Jay: Hmm well..... how about... no.......... what about..... no......... hmm, I'm totally at a loss here!
Galen: Hmm gimme a second.... wait for it.... wait for it... I think I got it, by JOVE I THINK I GOT IT!
Jay: Hit me GH! Hit me baby!
Galen: We run a 2 yard out to the sideline! No one will ever expect it especially since we are getting jammed at the line every play!!
Together: BRILLIANT!

Result: opponents 47 4th and 6

Together: Ain't that the bee's knees, almost had that one




Play: 2nd and 1, PSU 25

Galen: Well Jay, you know, this would be the perfect time to throw it deep. I mean, we can always run it on third you know.
Jay: Mahhhh well you know, we could just get in the I formation which no defense in the land thinks is a running formation and give it to BranDon.
Galen: You don't feel like, you know, like we'd be wasting a key opportunity to gain some major yards?
Jay: Hey, GH, baby, who loves you?
Halen: You do Jay, you do.
Jay: Yeah, lets give it to BranDon!

Result: Tackled in the backfield, 3rd and 6, repeat above scenario.

Play: 2nd and 5, 8th game of the season.

Jay: Hey Galen, remember that play that worked in 2002 when we put Michael Robinson in at RB and then handed him the ball?
Galen: Well, I was at a nursing home playing bridge with Glenn at the time, but I think I remember it.
Jay: You think, I mean, this may just be crazy talk but, what if... what if we put D. Williams back there?
Galen: JEHOSIPHAT! My mind is too cloudy with the slow, lonely decay of old age, but I think it does sound familiar. How bout we give it a go? We fake the jab and come straight for the jaw with the old haymaker!
Jay: Hold on, I have that page in the play book dog-eared (opens play book to find play marked with highlighter, sharpie, even a scratch and sniff sticker marked as run every 5 plays)... ahh here it is send it in
Galen: HA You'll RUE the day you went against us Defensive Coordinator X!

result: hit at the line by the saftey who know it was coming 3rd and 5.

Together: FIDDLESTICKS!



Psu's offense is pathetic, and I'm sick of it.

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