Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Traffic

Courtesy of Autoblog, I have a video to share with you all today. It's a video of soldiers somewhere in Iraq navigating traffic. Enjoy.



Shocked? Well, think of it this way. If they stop and sit in the traffic, the soldiers become a sitting duck target for an idiot with an IED. So... would you want to be polite and sit in traffic? Nope? Neither would I. I mean... it's not a polite thing to do and probably pisses off a lot of Iraqis but if it keeps you AND them alive I suppose its understandable. It's saves them because many more Iraqis get killed when IEDs go off in urban areas than soldiers do. I'll put it to you this way... would you want to be in your car stuck in traffic in front or behind a US Military HUMVEE? Once again, neither would I.

Besides, think of it this way. What would you do if you saw a speeding HUMVEE behind you with a 0.50 caliber machine mounted on it, and blaring it's horn? Personally, I'd pull over before he tried to bump me off the road.

My favorite part has got to be when the driver bumps the bus. Of course... isn't this what bumpers are for... you know... bumping?

Friday, January 26, 2007

Dumbass

Just another piece of evidence proving that you can be a dumbass and still make lots of money in the music business. Akon, or otherwise known as Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam (yes, that's his actual name), is just a giant dumbass.

You'd think that a rapper putting an album out would double check what he was saying so he didn't sound like an idiot but no, not Akon. You see, in his latest song Smack That, Akon mispronounces the name of Lamborghini's newest car, the Gallardo. Here's the lyric.
I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Instead of pronouncing it correctly as Gui-yar-do, genius Akon says Ga-lar-do. This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that he owns one, drives it daily and tells everybody about it. It's an orange one to boot. Doesn't he know that all Lamborghini's should be yellow? At the very least though, you'd think that the local Lamborghini dealer would have "smacked that" and made him say it right when he was buying it. Guess not.

Get a clue Akon.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Decisions

So now that I've graduated, its time to think of what to do about grad school. Should I start immediately? I think that's pretty obvious. I'm not married. I don't have any kids and well, I have too much time on my hands right now. So, it's definitely time to go back to school.

The problem I'm having is not where to go but what to study. I know I eventually want my MBA maybe with a Management, Finance, or Economics focus but that's down the line. Right now, I want to go back to school for something technical. The obvious choice is a M.Eng. or M.S. in Mechanical Engineering, but is it?

I just started my career and have no idea where its going to go. I spoke to my supervisor about this and when he asked me where I saw myself... I didn't have an answer. Hell, I don't even know if the aerospace industry is where I want to stay let alone if I want to stay in test engineering or move to reliability, design, manufacturing, or into engineering management.

So without knowing all of this, how can one choose a program to study? Areas that I'm considering are Mechanical Engineering, Industrial Engineering, or a custom Engineering Science program that focuses on Quality, Decision Making and Engineering Systems. The E. Sci degree is interesting and could be useful but wouldn't an MBA with a management focus cover all of this? So that keeps making me lean back to Mechanical Engineering. But, do I really want to do that?

The question that I keep asking myself is "will an M.Eng. be marketable for me." The reason I doubt its marketability is because I definitely see myself going into project management. I don't see myself being a lab rat my entire career but being a lab rat is something that I can see myself enjoying for the next ten years.

I think any of the choices I'm thinking about are good so it all comes down to making a decision and sticking with it.

Ugh... school sucks.

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Help

Here are two great Dilbert cartoons that succinctly illustrate how I feel when people me to help them with their computer problems.

People who ask for help and don't want to learn annoy me the most. If I'm going to help, I expect you to pay attention and learn something because I don't want to help you again for the same reason. The "I don't care what happened or how to fix it... just do it" attitude and mentality pisses me off. If you knew how you broke it, you wouldn't have broken it in the first place. Get a clue.


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Thursday, January 18, 2007

American Idol: Microcosm for America

American Idol is the most popular show in America and in most parts of the world (there are other countries versions' like “Pop-Star, El Musico-La Staro, whatever”). Why you may ask? Some people find it entertaining, which I have no problem with. I have a problem with the people who watch this show and make it their “dream of dreams” or their “life goals" and I have a problem with anyone who considers the winners of American Idol "musicians."

Last night’s episode and episodes of the first rounds in previous seasons had/has truck loads of these born losers. For example, there was a guy last night who quit his job to come and try out. Wow, what a sacrifice right? Later, you are informed he quit his job as a “gasoline attendant” to drive to Seattle to try out. Damn man, good luck breaking back into that market. What a sacrifice you made, hope you don’t have any kids to feed. If you need a reference on how quickly you threw that 17.4 gallons of 87 into my tank while you squeegeed my windshield, let me know man. Seriously, eat a shot gun shell and save humanity a lot of grey hairs.

As I'm watching the first rounds with other people, everyone sits around saying “this guy/girl can’t be for real” enough times that they actually convince themselves that these people are joking. Clearly, some of these people are joking but I would venture to say 98% of them are dead fucking serious, and that fucking scares me more than clowns do. They come in with their overweight, downsyndrome-esque swagger and chat up Paula while knocking Simon’s musical knowledge (What does Simon know? He only created the most popular show on TV… but also was more or less a massive loser before creating albums for the Power Rangers and Tele-tubbies, so… guess they’re right) setting them up for an even bigger fall. They proceed to tell “Yo Dawg” (I forgot the other dude’s name) how it has been their life long dream to be on this show and they are in fact, the next American Idol. Luckily, this is usually followed by the most horrible rendition of some shitty pop song which makes me want to have a stroke on the sofa.

After they are mercifully cut off by the judges, we get to watch my personal favorite part of the show, the part where their smile turns up-side down and they realize, through very honest criticism that they are truly horrific. Some say that “oh but I’ve taken chorus in high school,” “ I’ve taken 14 years of vocal training,” “Oh I’m sick today, I’m usually much better,” all to no avail. As they leave the audition they even look like they were cheated out of their dream by the judges. DEEElusional.

So, how is this show a microcosm for America? Remember when I said my friends convince themselves that these people aren’t real? They are VERY real and are unfortunately all over America. Instead of having dreams like, oh let’s start small, graduating high school (see Gasoline Attendant man), they have dreams of being that 1 in a million people who spend one afternoon of their life doing something to make it big. I’m just assuming that they would never, lets start a little bigger, apply for a loan to go to college, try to make themselves more attractive in the job market, hell…. read a book!? America wants to be famous, it’s our cultural desire to be fabulous and in the public eye.

Where are the people who dream to be a doctor, carpenter, teacher, you know something beneficial for society? They are far outnumbered by losers who will just do the bare minimum to get by and convince themselves daily that this one time they belted out Mr. Mister Kyrie Elaison in the shower and “hit” all the notes was the best moment of their life and if only Simon, Paula, and “Yo Dawg” where there then, they’d be in. And, like in the show, they blame 100 things that prevent them from succeeding in normal life instead of blaming their lack of talent/effort. Have you ever seen anyone come out of the audition room going “Damn, I really am fucking terrible, what the hell was I thinking?” Every time I’ve seen it, it’s always, “those judges don’t know wtf they are doing/thinking,” “I’ll be famous some day, you wait,” “I can’t believe they didn’t pick me, I should have sang another song.” If one person came out of there saying, “Holy Fuck, I’m terrible, I’m going to go back to my day job and stay there” I might actually have some faith in America; unfortunately, this won’t be the case anytime soon.

On a sort of sidebar, I don’t want anyone to think that being a musician isn’t a good goal. Culture is a very important part of society and music plays a role in defining that; however, the people that set the cultural heart beat aren’t no-talent losers who just jumped off a train and fell into a platinum album bin. Additionally, American Idol also erodes any cultural significance modern music might have had. A musician by my definition is someone who can write songs, and good ones, while singing or playing a musical instrument with some complexity/skill. Any muppet can sit back and pen a stupid song about love or how much “bling” you have, serious musicians like James Taylor, Mos Def, Sufjan Stevens, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles, Dr. Dre, and Metallica (a brief list don’t make me write down every influential band/performer, go sit on a fire hydrant instead of leaving me a comment on how I forgot/included x.y.z) define eras and change the style of future musicians. No one is ever going to look back and say, wow…. that Clay Aiken really changed the way people look at music. Even the most popular Idol, Kelly Clarkson, sounds exactly like every other female pop-star of the times. There is no originality in the music and the “idols” don’t write any of the songs (I'm sure maybe one or two of them have; unfortunately, I'm not willing to call a song that includes "Love" and "Baby" 47 times genius.) or play any instruments on any of the albums so I wouldn’t classify them as musicians. They are on par with a mime on the street, they are performers. They are very good at what they do, but they are not creative or original. It bothers me when they win Grammy’s or any award for a song they didn’t write (this happens to other artists as well) and just shows how culturally, I want to say ignorant but I guess a better word is retarded, America is.

In summation, Simon Cowell is not a dumb man. He thinks in a way similar to Rupert Murdoch (creator of Fox News) that America is full of dumb, pipe dream idiots and he has made millions exploiting that cultural and intellectual weakness. He has succeeded consequently in bringing forth these idiots and put them on display in a Barnum-esque manner shocking some, entertaining others, and disturbing the rest. He has created performers who dump billions of gallons of crap into the already diluted pool of musical creativity and convinced millions that it makes for good music, and we let him do it. Kudos America, eat a shot gun shell instead of waiting in line for the next AI please.Tags:

24 is Not the Greatest Show Ever:

This may be the most unpopular blog I ever write; however, I can’t stand idly by and let people put 24 up with the greatest TV shows. If you really like 24, and/or really liked the movie “Armageddon,” you should probably stop reading here.

Fox, capitol network of sensationalism, brought you a show that… brace yourselves, takes place over every hour of a 24 hour day. If you thought the Mach 4 razor blade was an innovation, then this may have wowed your socks off as well. I can’t speak for the entire show because honestly, I haven’t seen it all; but what I have seen and heard is just Jerry Bruckenheimer, over the edge 100% of the time, in your face silly/stupid action scene, crap. Just like in the movie Armageddon, anything that can go wrong, does go wrong, PURELY for the sake of creating some pointless twist to infuse the limp story with some entirely artificial emotion. You can only twist so many times before you end up in the same direction to crapville. Fox even rubs this shit in your face in the ad campaigns for not only 24, but Prison Break (re-read entire article and throw Prison Break in place of 24 for an entirely different article on the same crappy show) “YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS TWIST,” “HOLD ON TO YOUR COCKS CUZ THIS WEEKS 24 MIGHT MAKE THEM SPLIT IN HALF AND HAVE ALIEN BABIES!” “THIS WEEKS EPISODE WILL BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW YOU AWAY!” Holy fucking shit, I better buy a seat belt for my couch!! Shooting down Air Force one (ridiculous), making the president a terrorist (ridiculous), and having the most ridiculous things happen in one season is entertaining don’t get me wrong; but, it is mindless sensationalism. For the same reason no one with 2 hemispheres of operational brain can honestly say Armageddon is the best movie ever, 24 is not the greatest show ever.


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