Real Men of Genius

Please, enjoy this actual Bud Light commercial.

Tags: Iladelph

Nooooo

Chieh's website is no longer available. Where else can I find the mathematical formula for love amidst the ever elegant Macromedia Flash setup? Nowhere I say. I'm crying inside, I swear.

Tags: Douchebag

Stingray

After a night of drinking, following the end of the Penn State - Youngstown State game, Pineapples came up with a trio of songs off the top of his head. The first was a song about Steve Irwin. The second was about Scott Peterson and the third was about Bobby Brown.

Now since I only have nine credits this semester and have way too much time on my hands, I pieced together a Stingray clip for YouTube. Enjoy.



External link for the clip.

Tags: Steve Irwin, Stingray, & Drunk

Anniversary

Today is September 11th and it's been five years since hmm... September 11th. It's such a good thing that we're celebrating the anniversary because I have clearly forgotten what happened. I think it was something about planes, right?

Of course I am sympathetic for the families but lets please acknowledge what these events truly are: publicity events for politicians to show how much they care and support us -- which they don't because the middle class does not financially support their campaigns. We only elect them.

I'm so sick and tired of hearing about 9/11. It's hard to turn on any media venue without hearing about it over and over again. Hearing that we are now in the post 9/11 age. How we dodged the bullet having Bush in the White House instead of Gore and Kerry. Hearing about how the world has changed so much since 9/11. Bullshit, not much has changed. There have only been two true changes: longer lines at the airport and a pointless war that hasn't affected many of us.

So excuse me if I yawn while reading about the memorial services.


Tags: Publicity

Sleep problems

It is right now 6:26 AM on Monday morning and I can't fall asleep. For those of you who don't know me very well, or do but simply haven't been privy to this part of my life, I suffer from mild to severe sleep paralysis and right now I am having a pretty severe case of it and am terrified to even lay my head down on my pillow. The reason for this blog entry is simply for me to have something to do for the next fifteen minutes or so so it can run its course and I can fall asleep without apprehension or further interruption. Usually a cup of water and a few paces around my bedroom are sufficient enough, but not tonight. For those of you who are unfamiliar with sleep paralysis, you can wikipedia it yourself because I am too fucking tired to link it here. Here's the quick and dirty of it:

It's a state where your mind and body do not fall asleep at the same time, usually, it's the body that is in shut down mode while your mind is still racing. This creates a hallucinatory state where your mind is awake, but you have no control over your body. Sounds kinda weird and dumb, but this is also accompanied by a terror-like feeling; basically multiply the most scared you have ever been in your entire life by a million, combine that with hallucinating the most fucked up things you'll ever see and no control over your body's movements, and that's it in a nutshell.

I've been awake on and off since 5:13 this morning when I first woke up from it. They never last this long with me which is why I'm taking the extreme measure of blogging just to keep my mind off of it. I've seen my Dad sitting in my room with me, I've heard music from a band that doesn't exist right outside my window, I've flirted with three girls who turned into stone in front of me.....this is the type of shit I get to experience on a weekly basis. What I just described was no exaggeration, it's what I fucking saw in front of me. Sleep paralysis has been described as a "waking dream." My dctor tells me it is hereditary and all my family members go through it, especially my dad. Well, now it's 6:41 and I'm gonna try to go back to sleep. If I hallucinate one more time, I'm gonna have to stay up for good and that just ruins my day.



Tags: SLEEP

Rules

I'm in a bad mood. Partly because Notre Dame beat us today but mostly because of douchebags calling to harass me about it. The problem is that some people don't follow the rules of harassment, especially the rules of who is and is not allowed to harass me.

The case tonight was my brother decided to have his current girlfriend call me of which I haven't met yet. It would have been fine if he called me because he's family but I don't know her. I didn't even recognize the number and then she thought it was funny that I couldn't figure out who she was. Fuck you dumb bitch, stop annoying me. You go to Iona. Do they even have a football team?

So what are these rules? Here's the list of who's allowed to harass me.

• My family --- family is always allowed
• People who attend my school
• People who attend the opponent's school
• Alumni of both schools
• Very close friends

That's it. No more. Here's a list of people not allowed to harass me.

• People who don't go to college
• People who are fans of the opponent but don't attend there
• People I don't know or those I barely know
• and everyone else I've neglected to discuss

Another case of why I'm writing this was last year when Michigan beat us on the last play of the game, a friend of my brother called me to harass me. He's one of those loser bandwagon "I love Michigan" fans. Such a disgrace. Such a loser. It took a lot of will power to not drive home and beat his ass.

Failure to respect and obey these rules is justification for me kicking your ass and/or never speaking to you again. And no, its not just a game. We Penn Staters live and breath college football and its not our fault that you can't understand it. And you never will. Its impossible to understand what college football means to us and its impossible for me to explain it to you. Mostly because you go to no name colleges without football teams. But you don't see me calling you every weekend harassing you about how much your school sucks. Why? Because no ones heard of it douchebag. Shut up, hang up the phone, and put the cock back in your mouth.

Tags: College Football

Notre Dame Fans:

You might be a Notre Dame fan if:

You are Catholic: For some reason, a lot of people think that just because you are Catholic, you have to be a Notre Dame football fan. Fortunately, all of these people are already Catholic. How does a team filled with a sizeable majority of non-catholic players inspire you to make such a ludicrous statement? Just because the University’s “religion” is Catholicism, doesn’t automatically mean you have to root for them.

You went to some joke Jr. College for gun repair: “Hey, my college didn’t have a football team (or a national accredited certificate) so it was the logical choice for me!” No, that’s not the logical choice for you. The logical choice for you is to ask me if I want paper or plastic or ask me if I want fries with that. Just because you didn’t have a college team at your “college” still doesn’t excuse the fact that you are a dick for picking Notre Dame. If this were the universal case, then everyone with a shit basketball team would be a Duke fan…..

Your sister/brother went there: See above and shut the fuck up.

You are Regis Philbin: 99.9999999999754% of you aren’t

You really like their tradition: What does that even mean? That they can be mediocre and still make it to a BCS game? That they have a nazi esque copyright on their “image?” That Sam wise Gamgee made a movie about some 5’4” fucker who couldn’t even whipe the asses of any other college team’s players and made it in for one fucking play? I already saw that movie and liked it better when it was called Rocky, and at least he was in for 15 rounds before he got the draw.

Tags: CHANGE TOPIC