Friday, April 28, 2006

Feeble

On April 5, 2006, The Onion posted a story about Bush, his regimen of prayer, and its results called Critics Blast Bush For Not Praying Hard Enough. Excerpt from the article:
President Bush, already facing the lowest approval ratings in history, is coming under fire from former supporters over what they call his "ineffectual and incompetent" use of prayer for national guidance and assistance.

Despite assurances from the president that he "prays every day" for the nation's interests both at home and abroad, the mounting crises of recent months---escalating gas prices, the botched Dubai port security deal, ethics scandals, and the rising death toll in Iraq---have left many unimpressed with the effectiveness of his devotion. [...]

While newly released portions of White House prayer logs show that Bush's praying has actually gone up in recent months, critics are seeking to subpoena the documents in their entirety to determine the strength of those prayers. [...]

Susan DiDomenico of the National Prayer Task Force said her organization is seeking "full disclosure" of any and all prayers Bush may have skipped or manipulated to seem more effective or holy.
So that brings up the question of God. Perhaps it is God's fault. With Bush saying that he prays hard, could it be that God just isn't listening? But that wouldn't make sense as Bush is supposedly the God-appointed savior President for us all. Could Bush have done something against God's wishes prior to 9/11 to anger him? Maybe it was the stolen election that Katherine Harris masterminded.

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Cheese

So my brother's friend, Mark, is graduating this semester from Western Michigan University with a bachelor's in Business Administration. Thats all fine and dandy but the point of the story is the gift that his parents are getting him. It's not a handshake or a frame for his diploma. It's not a new expensive laptop or even a car. Those gifts pale in comparison to the one he's getting.

His parents will be giving him a check for $225,000. Yes, that's not a typo. The soon to be pampered alumnus is getting close to a quarter mil. From what my brother said, his sister got the same thing when she graduated from Michigan State University a few years ago. She, like he is expected to do, bought a house with the money.

Must be nice.

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Monday, April 24, 2006

eBay

Is there someone in your life that you want to get a gift for so that they can truly know how you feel about them? If so, do you often find it hard to find that perfect gift?

Well, look no more. An item on eBay is up for auction that will without a doubt perfectly express how you feel about that special person in your life.

Here's the link

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Sunday, April 23, 2006

Oprah

After catching a few minutes of Oprah on Friday where she attempted to get the audience to feel sorry for the heir to SC Johnson fortune and the granddaughter of billionaire Warren Buffet, my interest in writing about how much I hate Oprah resurfaced with a vengeance.

So, I googled "I hate Oprah" for some ideas that I could supplement my post with in case I forgot a few reasons for my hatred and I found a rant that was near perfect. Without question, my favorite line from it was I'm not saying that Oprah is Hitler or McCarthy - I'm saying she's both of them combined. Allow I generally discredit and disapprove of comparing anyone to Hitler because of Godwin's Law but I just couldn't pass this up. Enjoy.
I Hate Oprah
by: Brandon [Last name unknown]

I think a lot of people would beat around the bush with this one, so I am just going to come out and say it: I hate Oprah Winfrey. Maybe hate isn't exactly the right word, but somehow I would feel like less of a man admitting to the whole world that I am afraid of an aging, perpetually dieting, vegetarian talk show host. In reality, we should all be afraid.

Oprah Winfrey is a modern demagogue. She's like the soccer mom's Mussolini, prescribing what to wear, what to read, who to vote for, and even what to eat. The truth is, I just don't think that I, nor anyone else, really comprehend the limits of her power. And just think, ten years ago she was nothing more than the female equivalent of Geraldo Rivera - make that two Geraldo Rivera's. Or maybe she just ate Geraldo Rivera - it doesn't really make a difference. Oprah's rapid climb from talk show host to saint can go unnoticed no more. I volunteer to take the rap. I will accept the hate mail. I will shoulder the anger of thirty million women in the United States. I will do whatever it takes to get the word out: "I hate Oprah and you should too!"

Let's consider some of the facts. Okay, some approximations of the facts, but you'll get the idea. Nobel prize winning authors usually see their publication increase in the hundreds of thousands, at most, after winning the prize. However, if an author gets his or her book on Oprah's book list, he is guaranteed a spot on the New York Times' best-seller list. She is neither a respected author nor a respected literary critic, but Oprah speaks and millions read. And it seems like a simple observation, but when you consider the historical influence of what we read, the social ramifications of Oprah's guidance become clearer. During the Red Scare, people were branded communists based on what they read, and Hitler recognized the power of literature and focused much of the Nazi effort on censorship; so clearly, at least according to history, what people read has an effect on their social and political views. I'm not saying that Oprah is Hitler or McCarthy - I'm saying she's both of them combined.

Really, everyone has to recognize the power that Oprah wields over one of the most powerful voting blocs in the United States. For soccer moms, Oprah is Buddha and Jerry Springer all wrapped into one; she entertains, but at the same time she remains focused on the salvation of the soul. Everyday, hordes of women gather around the tele-pulpit and pray to the gods of Oprahism, people like Kevin Aucoin and Cindy Crawford, contemporary dieticians and designers; all capitalists posing as prophets on Oprah's multi-national stage.

No matter who you are, Oprah is not like you. The fact that she can convince you that she is should make you even more afraid of her than I am. I'll probably have my legs broken by angry mobs of women sent by Harpo Productions tomorrow, but today, I hate Oprah…and I'm sticking to that.
As great as I think the rant is, I think it clearly omits two of my prized reasons for hating Oprah (although the piece may have been written before both events). The first is the whole deal with Oprah giving away Pontiac G6s to everyone in her audience. She made no attempt to explain that she had not purchased them or that GM had donated them. So afterward, every soccer mom in the nation was talking about how great Oprah was for giving away the cars. She didn't give people shit.

Number two is the whole James Frey debacle. She invited on the show to explain the fiasco but all she did was publicly condemn him. Her purpose, as South Park recently outlined, was to fix her image. The fiasco had made her look bad because she recommended a book that was fluffed which according to many, made the book better.

Ugh. All I can say is "Oh, Minge!"

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Jungleland

Depressed Writer has written a fictional piece called Jungleland that I recommend everyone read. It's truly, in my opinion, a great story.

But, of course you're going to ask the question, "Do I really want to read a 20 page paper... I don't know if I'll like it." Well allow me to help. Do you like stories with drug use, Bruce Springsteen references, gratuitous sex scenes, the game of spin the bottle, the horror that is New Jersey, and shit getting blown up? If the answer to every question was a resounding "Hell yes I do" then the story is for you.Enjoy.

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Saturday, April 22, 2006

Funeral

From YouTube, a video on the demise of Apple's old operating system, Mac OS 9. Apparently with the introduction of Mac OS X (pronounced ten, not x), they held a funeral for the shitty, crappy operating system.



I think burning a copy of the software would have been more fitting. Without Mac OS 9's demise, I never would have bought my Powerbook.

I guess nerds do have at least a sliver of humor in them. Too bad Steve Jobs can't figure out that wearing black turtlenecks everyday is not a good thing.

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Spaghetti

From Uncrate, "a web magazine for guys who love stuff," comes a piece about a new sort of bible.
If you think your religion has some crazy ideas, you haven't seen anything yet. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ($11) is the accompanying guide to the new parody religion — born out of last year's battle between advocates of evolution and intelligent design — that worships a supernatural entity resembling spaghetti and meatballs.


Followers of the FSM, called Pastafarians, believe that pirates control global warming and natural disasters, that superstition trumps science no matter what, and that the FSM hid dinosaur fossils underground to dupe mankind. Oh yeah, and heaven has a stripper factory and a beer volcano.
You can check out the Church of the Flying Spaghetti's website here. Just like Maddox's site, one of the best parts of the site is the hate mail section.

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Methane

Here's an interesting piece from GM's new FYI Blog about how they are reducing their consumption of natural gas.
One Man's Garbage is ...

Sharon Morton
GM Communications

You’d be surprised at what you can find in a great, big pile of garbage. Yeah, there’s all the usual stuff that we throw away on a daily basis. But, this garbage is actually producing enough energy to help power seven of GM’s facilities.

We are the largest direct, corporate user of landfill gas in the United States. Landfill gas is generated by rotting garbage in landfills. Our decision to use it as an energy source is a win-win situation. It’s good for the environment and also is a good business decision.

If unused, landfill gas is a waste product that is released at the landfill, which contributes to greenhouse gas emissions. At our facilities, the landfill gas is piped to the plant and combusted in boilers, providing a cost-effective, renewable energy source.

Landfill gas is an important part of our renewable energy portfolio. In fact, we are one of the leading users of renewable energy in the manufacturing sector in North America. Using renewable resources reduces our reliance on fossil fuels like coal and oil.

General Motors has reduced its natural gas consumption by 21 percent since 2000 and is expected to achieve its goal of a 25 percent energy reduction by the end of 2006.

The sum of landfill gas capacity at the seven GM operations using the fuel is equivalent to the energy needed to heat over 25,000 households, which represents about 1.6 trillion BTUs per year. Each landfill gas installation at a GM plant generates annual savings of greater than $500,000.

GM facilities using landfill gas are: assembly plants located in Orion Township, Mich.; Oklahoma City, Okla.; Fort Wayne, Ind.; Shreveport, La.; and a powertrain plant located in Toledo, Ohio. Two additional warehouse sites in Grand Blanc and Flint, Mich., utilize landfill gas by purchasing 13 million kilowatt-hours of electricity annually, which is generated from a landfill gas-to-electricity program.

So, in other words, the garbage you throw out today might be used to help build your next vehicle.
It's quite interesting to me considering I'm from Orion Township where one of the plants is. They build Epsilon platform cars like the Chevrolet Malibu and Pontiac G6 at this plant. I'm assuming they are piping the methane from the Waste Management landfill about a half mile or less away. I wonder if the other six plants are located near landfills as well.

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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Forsaken

Dear Pineapples,

Why have you forsaken and abandoned me? Day after day now, I sit unused and alone in the driveway, hundreds of miles from you and I don't understand why. Do you not love me anymore? I still love you and I don't want this to be the end of our relationship. Do you not remember all the good times we've had together?

I know I'm not perfect. I know that I have my rusty spots and my engine needed rebuilt before but you stood by me then, so why leave now? I think I know the answer. You found that cheap floozy, Pontiac G6. She doesn't know what's right for you. She's only going to hurt you in the end. Don't you know that? I'm the only one that truly loves you. It's not right Pineapples.

You know what? You're not perfect either, but I still love you. You wrecklessly drive me. You're always late with changing my oil. You never wash me. Just look at me:


How can you sit back and say that you treated me with the respect that I deserve? You know you didn't. Look at that rust and dammit, I'm not in SAE so why do you still have that sticker on me. Look at my rims. Why can't you just once clean off the brake dust once in awhile? I wish I could quit you Pineapples.

I've talked with my lawyers and they agree that I should go ahead and file the necessary paperwork to become emancipated. If you are not going to come back, I need to move on with my life. I can't sit back and let you do this to me. I need to find someone who loves me for me and won't abandon me when some whore comes around. Yes, I'm calling Miss G6 a whore. She stole you away from me, she's a dirty whore.

But, I can't lie. You will forever hold a special place in my heart Pineapples. We can still work this out. We can still rekindle the magic we once had. All you have to do is try. I miss you.

Sincerely,
Jimmy

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Chick-isms

Common phrases stated by famed, former Lakers play-by-play announcer Chick Hearn, courtesy of Wikipedia.org. Enjoy...

  • Air-ball: A shot that draws nothing but air.

  • (He sent that one back) Air-mail Special!: Forceful blocked shot, often sent high into the stands.

  • Bloooows the layup! : Missed a very easy layup.

  • Boo-birds: Fans who boo their own team when they play badly.

  • (He did the) bunny hop in the pea patch: He was called for traveling.

  • (You could) call it with Braille: An easy call for an official, e.g. a blatant foul.

  • (He got) caught with his hand in the cookie jar: Reaching foul.

  • (The) Charity Stripe: The free-throw line.

  • (He's got 'em) covered like the rug on your floor: Really good one-on-one defense.

  • (They) couldn't beat the Sisters of Mercy: The team is getting beat badly.

  • (They) couldn't throw a pea into the ocean: The team's shooting is really awful.

  • (It'll) count if it goes....: A player shoots just before the buzzer. It go-o-o-oes! (if the shot is successful)

  • (That shot) didn't draw iron: A shot which misses the rim, but hits the backboard.

  • Dime store score: A 10 to 5 score

  • Dribble-drive: A player drives the basket while dribbling.

  • Finger roll: A shot where the ball rolls off the shooter's fingers.

  • (He) fly-swatted (that one).: A shot blocked with force and authority.

  • Football score: A score resembling one often seen in a football game (e.g., 21 to 14).

  • (He threw up a) frozen rope: A shot with a very flat trajectory.

  • (It's) garbage time: The (often sloppily played) remainder of the game (after it’s in the refrigerator).

  • Give and Go: A player passes the ball, makes a quick cut, and receives a return pass.

  • (In & out,) Heart-brrrreak!: A shot that appears to go in, but rattles off the rim and misses. Sometimes it went in so far you could read the Commissioner's name from below.

  • He has two chances, slim and none, and slim just left the building: The player has no chance of success with this play.

  • If that goes in, I'm walking home: Similar to a prayer, when the opponent shoots a shot that is a prayer, a streak, or some amazing shot. (Usually on the road)

  • Leapin' Lena: A shot made while the player is in the air and off balance.

  • (There are) lots of referees in the building, only three getting paid: The entire crowd acts as though they are the officials by disagreeing with a call.

  • The mustard's off the hot dog: A player attempts an unnecessarily showy, flashy play which ends up in a turnover or is otherwise unsuccessful.

  • Nervous time: When the final moments of a game are pressure-packed.

  • 94-by-50 hunk of wood: Simply put, a basketball court's dimensions.
  • Attacking 47 feet: The front court.

  • No harm, no foul(no blood, no ambulance, no stitches): A non-call by an official when insignificant contact has occurred.

  • Not Phi Beta Kappa: Simply put, not a smart play.

  • ...Since Hector was a pup A very long time (e.g., The Lakers haven't had the lead since Hector was a pup.)

  • (He's) On him like a postage stamp: Very tight defense, simply put.

  • Slaaam dunk!: Called for various players who have just dunked the ball (e.g. Michael Jordan and Shaquille O'Neal).

  • (He) Takes him to the third floor and leaves him at the mezzanine.: The offensive player pump faked the defender,(who leaps to block the shot) and the player with the ball either goes up while the defender is coming down and/or draws the foul and hits the shot.

  • This game's in the refrigerator: the door is closed, the lights are out, the eggs are cooling, the butter's getting hard, and the Jello's jigglin'!: The game's outcome is set; only the final score is in question.

  • Throws up a brick: When a player tosses up a particularly errant shot.

  • Throws up a prayer (... it's answered!!!): A wild shot that will need a miracle to score (and does).

  • Ticky-tack: A foul called when very little contact has been made.

  • Triple-double: A player gets 10 or more (i.e. double digits) in three statistical categories: points, rebounds, assists, steals or blocked shots.

  • (On his) Wallet: A player fell on his rear end.

  • Words-eye view: What listeners received while listening to Chick call the game on the radio.

  • (He's) Working on his Wrigleys. A player is chewing gum.

  • He's in the Popcorn Machine...(with butter and salt all over him): Meaning that a defensive player got faked into the air by an offensive player's pump fake.

  • (We're) high above the western sideline: Chick's perch at the Fabulous Forum, from which he called his word's eye views of the game.

  • Hippity-hops the dribble...: A player dribbling the ball does a little hop step.

  • He's yo-yo-ing up and down: A player is standing there dribbling the ball up and down as if it was a yo-yo on a string.

  • I'll bet you an ice-cream...: Chick and Keith Erickson (his one-time color commentator) often bet ice creams on the outcome of a shot or game.


  • And two of my favorites (from classic arcade game NBA Jam):
  • Slam-a-lama Ding-Dong!

  • He dials one up from long distance...(when a 3-point shot is taken)


  • Feel free to add your own...

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    Immigration

    Credit to Corrigan for posting a little bit of satire regarding illegal immigration. Enjoy.
    Dear President Bush:

    I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

    I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws my grandparents were required to obey when they came to America from Europe 95 years or so ago. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

    So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
      1. Free medical care for my entire family.
      2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
      3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
      4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
      5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
      6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flyin lower down.
      7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
      8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
      9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
      10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
      11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
      12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
      13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.
    I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. Thank you so much for your kind help.

    Sincerely,
    An accepting, tolerant, but concerned, American citizen who is proud to be the grandchild of legal immigrants.
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    Tuesday, April 18, 2006

    Hillarious


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    Funny

    "... I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved." -- Genesis 32:30


    "No man hath seen God at any time..."-- John 1:18


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    Thursday, April 13, 2006

    Horowitz

    Dennis and I went and saw David Horowitz speak tonight at the Alumni Hall in Penn State's Hub-Robeson Center. He was there, as a guest of the College Republicans to promote his book, The Professors: The 101 Most Dangerous Academics in America. I have previously opined on the book here so I intend to focus on the speech tonight. I just want to say that unlike a lot of liberals in the crowd, I tried to attend the event with an open mind and not condemn everything he said.

    Allegiance
    The event started off with an introduction by the president of the College Republicans for Horowitz. The interesting part is that at the end of the introduction while standing in front of a sign that said "College Republicans: Support America" the president asked the attendees to stand and pledge allegiance to the flag (mind you, there was no flag present). I found it funny. Hitler often required people to take loyalty pledges too. I remained seated, even as Dennis stood. I guess I hate America.

    Theory
    Horowitz begun by explaining that there is an overwhelming number of liberal professors in academia. He told the crowd that according to a study by Berkeley and Stanford that the ratio of liberal to conservative professors is between 7 and 9 to 1. Interesting thought, considering that one of the two Penn State professors he attacked has declared that he's a libertarian. Anyway, the idea that liberals outnumber conservatives in academia is no shock to me. Especially in the liberal arts.

    He then theorized why liberals outnumbered conservatives. In his opinion, those who opposed the Vietnam War (liberals) decided to avoid the draft with a 2S deferment and stayed in school, earning their bachelors, masters, and ph.d. Come thirty years later, conservatives are a rare breed. It's an interesting take and actually sounds plausible.

    Liberal Arts
    Throughout the hour long speech, he railed against the liberal arts and their liberal professors and the ideology that these professors bring to their classes. But, what do you expect from the liberal arts? Of course, professors in the liberal arts are going liberals. Maybe I'm wrong here but isn't the Business School full of mostly conservatives? If so, wouldn't it be slightly hypocritical to omit this.

    He frequently attacked sociology professors. Demanding that they should teach "both sides" of the argument. Repeatedly, he questioned the sociological idea that our society has social, economic, and racial classes. Whether or not it is true, I don't know. I have no background in the topic but as an english major, neither is he.

    Double Standards
    Horowitz went on attack against liberal professors. Citing examples where universities had hired professors who had been in jail and had been involved in illegal activities. He also complained about liberal professors who voiced their political opinions in public and on their personal websites like Penn State's Richards and Berube. But, here's the key point, he defended Ward Churchill. I also defended Churchill, but this is a double standard to only defend professors who speak out "in public" but not defend other professors right to free speech.

    Ideology
    He ranted and railed against liberals who brought their political viewpoints into their classes. Even in my engineering classes, I've seen politics in the classroom. And, in the liberal arts classes, it was even more pronounced. A few years ago I took Comparitive Literature 100, a class on sex, race and gender issues. As you can imagine, I was one of very few men in the class. It was mainly full of minorities and feminists but you know what? I expected that. Hell, even the professors last name was Castro. Although at the time, I wasn't political, I did feel that most of my opinions were unwanted. But, here's the key -- my opinions were not unwanted by the professor but rather by my fellow students. This is the key difference between the reality and what Horowitz rants about.

    Effect
    On some level, I think Horowitz is right. I do believe that some professors bring their politics to class but especially in liberal arts classes, I want their opinion. I, like him, just don't want them to demand they are right and as I've experienced, this hasn't happened to me. One of my engineering professors makes cracks about Bush and talks about how everyone should drive hybrids, but what is the effect? Is the system truly "hurting our children?" Is it truly indoctrinating the students? I truly don't think so. I, like most of my fellow students, have active functional brains and we have the ability to think for ourselves. We have the ability to hear a professor's biased political opinion and come out unscathed. So, although Horowitz may be correct that academia has a liberal bias, I don't see the problem. Our country is on a conservative kick and this society was educated by liberal academic institutions. So where is the problem Mr. Horowitz?

    Attacks
    Horowitz made some good points but he did many things that affected his message. Repeatedly, he went off-topic ranting about McCarthyism and Stalinists, and the horrible communists. Why is it that neo-conservatives always have to bring up McCarthy and defend him. Sure, I do believe that there were communists in the government but here's the difference --- I don't care. Those communists were allowed by law to be communists. They had the fundamental right guaranteed by our constitution to be communists. Horowitz also attacked people who asked questions. Much like Ann Coulter, he called people in the crowd idiots and said they were unable to hold a debate, even though he wouldn't actually answer some questions. Even if he believed that and even it was true, calling your audience idiots is no way to get your point across. The biggest detraction for him of the night was how he went on a rant against Paul Robeson (the man who the building is named after), calling him a traitor and a communist. He may have been, I don't know, but thats off-topic and only incites the people who disagree with you. He should have stuck to the topic and refrained from taking pot-shots.

    Liberals
    If I got anything about this event, it was that I fucking hate liberals. Don't get me wrong, I hate conservatives too, but I really hate liberals. Liberals in the audience boo'ed and interrupted Horowitz throughout the entire event. Disgraceful. You came to hear the man speak, so let him speak.

    Conclusion
    I'm glad I went to the event. Although he made horrible mistakes in getting his message across, some things got through and he raised some great points and questions. Although I still think he's a horrible debater (as the question and answer period proved where he called everyone idiots), he did provide some information that was insightful. I just wish he would have stuck to the topic and refrained from making lame attacks on people that were unnecessary and didn't make accusations that clearly contained double standards and hypocritical omissions.

    In any event, I agree that liberals outnumber conservatives, at least at Penn State but I don't care. Professors that crack Bush jokes and slip in liberal opinions have no effect on me. Conservatives truly need to stop worring "about the children."

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    Tuesday, April 11, 2006

    I Hate Politicians

    I'll tell you something that will never change, the older you get, the wiser you get. Unfortunately, this also destroys another truth, ignorance is bliss. The older I get, I can see the angles and understand intracacies of things on totally expanded levels compared to younger, simpler times. Not to pronounce that I know everything about the world, no not by any means; however, after living in the captial of our nation for 2 years and living in this country for 24 years, I have taken a keen interest on politics. Politics have shrank for me from our elected officials representing what the they think is right based on moral/ethical/financially sound decisions to what the people who will re-elect him/her think. So, having said this... wait for it, your brain might explode... HOW THE FUCK CAN POLITICIANS CARE ABOUT WHAT THE 11 MILLION ILLEGAL ... ILLEGAL MEANS THEY CANT VOTE!!!!!!!!!.......... THINK ABOUT IMMIGRATION, CITIZENSHIP, AND/OR AMNESTY?????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!! A recent Washington Post-ABC news poll said 85% of Americans think the nation has a problem with illegal immigration. Has anyone ever seen an election won with 15% of the votes? It just bothers me to no end that we are even pandering to these people.

    Yes, this is a country of immigrants and they should be allowed in... legally; however, once they get here, they need to realize this is AMERICA not NEW NEW MEXICO. My father's Romanian and Austrian grandparents didn't demand that this country bow to whatever they wanted upon their arrival (i.e. making me read/speak Spanish to just order a fucking "Numero Uno" Big Mac in Bethesda, Maryland). Well, there weren't that many Romanian/Austrians coming over so shut up!!!! Well what about this MON FRER: For several decades, German migrants made up 20-25% of the country but we don't SPRECHEN SIE DEUTSCH or hear "Drucken Sie die Numer Drei fuer Deutsch" when we make telephone calls. Protesters in DC were protesting in Spanish to an English speaking Senate/House.... DUH! Those that could speak English demanded we give back the South West to Mexico! Ironically this would just mean that Mexican's would be crossing the border in Missouri to come mow someone's yard in Maryland for 15$.

    These people are doing jobs that Americans don't want to do; ohk fine, but guess what, just because Americans don't "want" to do them, doesn't mean they wouldn't get done without illegals. That is a huge bullshit excuse that people throw out there to try and make themselves feel better. The fact is, economically and culturally, if you introduce and encourage a large, migrant, mostly poor group of people to come here who chose not to live an American lifestyle but purely exploit America for what it is, a leaking piggy bank, then it will be exponentially detrimental to our country's future. Imagine that these 11 million people who are mostly poor go on with the trends of poorer societies having more children. In 15 years we could have 15-20% of our population who is poor and doesn't even speak English holding their hands out for money while our generation already has to pay for the social security for the generation before us (which alone could bankrupt the country) just so we can pay a Mexican gardner 15$ to mow our lawn when the neighbors kid would have done it for 10$ anyway.

    Way to go politicians! Go with the 11 million illegals who can't vote for you and 15% of the populace that apparently is against us doing something about the illegal immigration policy and pass your "Amnesty" program for Mexicans while snubbing every other person who is/has tried to get into the country the legal way. I quit!

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    Monday, April 10, 2006

    Jackass

    Wyclef is a jackass and must live under a rock. In Shakira's latest song, "Hips Don't Lie," he continually says throughout the song:
      I never really knew you could dance like this
    Um... have you never seen any of her videos? I mean she does look ridiculously hot in this one, but come on... she shakes her gorgeous hips and ass and incredible hot abs in this one just as well as every other video she has.

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    Pro-life Nation

    Scary Shit

    This is what the United States could become.....

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    Ouch

    Yeah, I did this at work on Saturday morning. Holding a knife in my right hand, and an avocado in the left, I attempted to core the avocado. Except that the core was small and had gone bad, so the knife went through it and about a 1/4" into my hand. Two hours and five stiches later:


    It actually didn't hurt at the time and doesn't now. In fact, the only thing that does hurt is my arm, from the Tetanus shot I had to get. Next time, I say bring on the lockjaw.

    UPDATE: No, they didn't give me any fun pain medications. Why? Because I don't need them. I haven't even taken a single Tylenol. Stop asking.

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    Friday, April 07, 2006

    Google

    I just thought it was time for a good ole Google Bomb. From Wikipedia:
    A Google bomb or Google washer is a certain attempt to influence the ranking of a given page in results returned by the Google search engine, often with humorous intentions. Due to the way that Google's PageRank algorithm works, a page will be ranked higher if the sites that link to that page all use consistent anchor text. A Google bomb is created if a large number of sites link to the page in this manner. Google bomb is used both as a verb and a noun.
    So copy the link and post it on yours.

    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame
    I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame I Love Notre Dame


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    Wednesday, April 05, 2006

    What's the Deal?

    What's the deal with the side bar with the links? Is it at the bottom of the page for anyone else?



    Tags: FUNction

    Tuesday, April 04, 2006

    Crush

    The Pet Shop Boys have released a new political pop song about Tony Blair's gay relationship with George W. Bush called I'm with Stupid. Can you guess which one the stupid one is? If you said Tony Blair, then you're the stupid one. You can listen to the song on their site. Here are the lyrics:
    I'm with Stupid

    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid

    See you on the TV
    Call you every day
    Fly across the ocean
    Just to let you get your way
    No one understands me
    Where I'm coming from
    Why would I be with someone
    who's obviously so dumb?
    Love comes
    Love grows
    every time you rise to meet me
    take my hand to greet me
    Love comes
    Love grows
    and power can give a man
    much more than anybody knows

    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid

    Before we ever met
    I thought like everybody did
    you were just a moron
    a billion-dollar kid
    You flew up all the way
    like a hawk chasing a dove
    I never thought that I would be
    a sacrifice in love
    It comes
    It grows
    and now we're tied together
    everybody knows

    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid

    Is stupid really stupid
    or a different kind of smart?
    Do we really have a relationship
    so special in your heart?

    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid

    I have to ask myself
    like any lover might:
    Have you made a fool of me?
    Are you not Mr Right?
    You grin
    I pose
    It's not about sincerity
    Everybody knows

    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid
    Oh-oh, I'm with Stupid

    Is stupid really stupid
    or a different kind of smart?
    That's how you stole my heart
    I'm with Stupid

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    This is really fucking cool

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoGRM1beFMc&search=The%20Simpsons

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    Sports Sidebars

    Sports reporters and the producers that cover the broadcast really need to start understanding that an interesting story told once is interesting, twice is annoying, 42 times makes me want to vomit all over myself. Last night was the championship of NCAA basketball featuring Florida vs. UCLA. The game had many colorful players, fans, and back stories; however, one rose above everyone else. If you watched the game, you instantly know who I'm talking about. Joakim Noah is a starter for Florida. The interesting fact (at first presentation in the pregame show) was that his dad was the last French tennis player to win the French Open. Wow, that is interesting that this kid is his son, I'll admit that. Ohk next, lets watch the game. Tip off,


    Commentator 1: "Welcome sports fans for the tip off of the NCAA championship, I'd just like to note that Joakim Noah's dad is sitting right over there and did in fact play tennis."
    Commentator 2: "Wow, I heard he won the French Open."
    Commentator 1: " Thats right Verne, he sure did."

    5 minutes into the game
    Commentator 1: "Great block there by Noah, you know what? I heard his dad played tennis."
    Commentator 2; "He sure did, that French Open champion is sitting right over there. Can we get another camera shot of him? Great!"

    10 minutes into the game
    Commentator 1: "Holy cow, the history at UCLA when it comes to championships is amazing. We have Bill Walton, Kareem Abdul and others in the crowd here."
    Commentator 2: "Well you know Verne, guess who we also have in the crowd tonight?"
    Commentator 1: "You got me who?"
    Commentator 2: "Well, I don't know if you know this but Joakim Noah's dad is in the audience tonight."
    Commentator 1: "Oh really? Can we get a camera shot of him?"
    Commentator 2: "You betcha, can you believe he won the French Open? How ironic is it that his son is here playing basketball?"
    Commentator 1: "Yeah I mean, this story is so amazing."

    Me: PHLHAHAHAHLAHGGHHGHGALGHAGHHGAGLAGHGHHGLAGPHAGHLAGH
    (sound of me vomiting all over myself)

    It just seemed to me that every third sentence was about this crap. For those of you who watched the Fiesta bowl this year, the interesting story of that game was the QB for Notre Dame Brady Quinn's sister was dating starting LB for Ohio State A.J. Hawk. It was interesting to see she had a split jersey of both her brother and A.J. Hawk. The producers decided that after everyplay, we needed to see her reaction to EVERY FUCKING PLAY. Someone needs to either, inject more "back stories" or tell these guys to do it once, maybe twice, but not every 5 god damn minutes. In a game that was as lop sided as the NCAA championship last night, the first thing that is going to make me change the channel is that kind of crap. Seriously, who cares about the French or the French Open?

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    Sunday, April 02, 2006

    Inferno

    It's 4:30 AM in State College and I'm laying in bed and all I keep hearing is people screaming outside. Then I hear a police car intermixed with the screams and so I thought it was just a fight outside. There's a house near mine that is always having giant parties so I figure its from them. Then I catch a few occurrence's of "oh my god" and hear more police cars showing up and decide to look out my window. Well, I was correct about which house it was (on the corner of Sparks & College) but wrong about the situation as you can see.







    What has happened to this town lately? Two murders, bad cocaine deals going on and now this. I hope everyone was alright.

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